farters have to be the big spoon...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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