you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
