I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
