hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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