My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was born a porn star she said
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
