he shaved USA in his pubs
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
