walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
