im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
