He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
