he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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