Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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