I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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