I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
