We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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