There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
