Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
