just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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