Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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