Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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