New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
