1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
