Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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