do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
God, I missed his penis.
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