I CAN MOONWALK!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
