my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
