if you like me you must not know who I am
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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