Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
