Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the day after is always just damage control
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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