the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
