are you still at the devil's house?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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