haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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