This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My penis needs a shock collar
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
