I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
false alarm, still single
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
