You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
