Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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