At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize