Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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