Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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