New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize