is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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