Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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