4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
operation harelip BJ is a go
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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