I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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