All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
