He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
