he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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