Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize