forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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