Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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