he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
