whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
