Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
