Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
