How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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