im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
