do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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