it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
